Supporting Belonging and Inclusion for Children and Young People with BESD

Recent guidance in Ireland, including NCSE Relate and the Department of Education’s Understanding Behaviours of Concern and Responding to Crisis Situations document, reinforces the importance of inclusive, relational, trauma-informed, and regulation-first approaches that support wellbeing, participation, and emotional safety for all children and young people.

While this matters for everyone we support, it may be particularly important for those with behavioural, emotional and social difficulties (BESD), as fostering a sense of belonging promotes emotional regulation, builds resilience, and helps individuals form strong, positive relationships.

What do we mean by BESD?

While there is no exhaustive list, BESD encompasses a wide range of experiences: children and young people may find it difficult to manage emotions, cope with change, build relationships or feel safe within their environment.

As a result, they may experience anxiety, low mood, panic, trauma responses, or intense emotional reactions, such as anger or frustration. These experiences can significantly impact how safe and connected they feel within a setting.

When we better understand BESD, we are able to take a more compassionate and informed approach to behaviour, recognising that it is often the communication of unmet needs, distress, or dysregulation.

Challenges around BESD provision

As professionals working with children and young people, we know that supporting BESD-related needs well requires time, resources, training and ongoing reflection. In many services and settings, competing pressures can make it difficult to review current approaches or implement meaningful change. Staff teams may feel stretched, be unsure of where to begin, or lack confidence in how best to respond to the diverse and individual needs of children and young people.

When provision is limited or inconsistent, children and young people can sometimes feel marginalised or misunderstood, reinforcing feelings of exclusion rather than belonging. This makes it even more important to focus on inclusive, relationship-centred approaches that support emotional safety.

Why a culture of belonging and inclusion matters

Regardless of their needs or starting points in life, all children and young people deserve to feel that they belong. When the environments we create are inclusive, predictable, and safe, children are more likely to feel secure enough to engage, learn, and thrive.

However, we can sometimes inadvertently lower our expectations or narrow opportunities for those with BESD, which, over time, can reinforce feelings of marginalisation and limit young people’s potential. A strong sense of belonging helps counter this, reminding children that they are valued members of their community, and are not defined by their difficulties.

Practical ways to foster belonging, participation and emotional safety

These practical, manageable suggestions provide a starting point for strengthening inclusion and emotional safety across our services and settings.

Develop clear, shared plans and approaches

A shared ethos, underpinned by clear plans and policies, supports consistency and trust. When everyone understands how BESD-related needs are recognised, understood and supported, children experience more predictable and reliable support. Co-created approaches help ensure that values of inclusion and belonging are embedded across teams.

Invest in training to build consistency and confidence

When adults respond in predictable, compassionate ways, children are more likely to feel understood and accepted. Consistency plays a vital role in helping children feel safe. High-quality teacher professional learning (TPL) for all staff, not just specialist roles, supports shared understanding and confidence.

Provide relational support

Strong relationships are central to belonging and emotional security and without adequate support, addressing BESD-related needs can sometimes feel overwhelming. Having emotionally available adults who can build trusting relationships, notice early signs of distress and offer reassurance helps children feel seen and valued.

Adopt flexible approaches

Belonging grows when children feel that their individual needs are recognised and respected. Flexible approaches, such as offering additional time or opportunities for co-regulation and regulation breaks, providing alternative ways to communicate, or enabling access to trusted adults, allow children to engage in ways that feel safe and achievable for them.

Create environments that feel safe and welcoming

Physical environments matter. Busy, overstimulating spaces can often increase anxiety and distress for some children and young people. Small adaptations, such as reducing noise, clutter or visual overload, can make a significant difference. Calm or quiet self-regulation spaces, used appropriately, can offer children a safe place to re-regulate while remaining part of the community.

Support emotional understanding and expression

Developing emotional literacy helps children recognise, name and understand their feelings. When children and young people can make sense of what they are experiencing, they are better able to seek support. Adults modelling emotional regulation and co-regulation also play a crucial role in helping children feel safe and supported during difficult moments.

Build trusting relationships with children and families

Belonging is rooted in relationships. Taking time to understand children and young people as individuals, and working in partnership with families, supports more personalised, collaborative and effective support. When children feel listened to and respected, they are more likely to feel that they truly belong.

Creating spaces of belonging

Children and young people with BESD rely on emotionally available adults to advocate for them, listen to them, and create environments where they feel safe and accepted.

By approaching BESD through the lens of belonging, inclusion, and emotional safety, we move beyond ‘managing’ behaviour and towards building connection, trust, and emotional security.

If you’d like to talk to us about your needs when it comes to supporting behaviour in your setting, please get in touch any time.