Why Belonging Matters for Children with SEMH Needs
Belonging is a fundamental human need. Just like us, when children and young people feel accepted, understood and connected, their wellbeing and capacity to engage all improve.
And for those with social, emotional and mental health (SEMH) needs, fostering a sense of belonging can be particularly important for supporting their emotional regulation, building resilience and forging strong, positive relationships.
With its focus on belonging, Children’s Mental Health Week offers us a timely opportunity to reflect on how our environments, relationships and responses help all children and young people feel safe, valued and included.
Understanding SEMH needs
Understanding social, emotional and mental health (SEMH) needs enables a more compassionate and informed approach to behaviour, recognising that it is often a response to unmet emotional needs or distress.
SEMH encompasses a wide range of experiences: children and young people may find it difficult to manage emotions, cope with change, build relationships or feel safe within their environment. They may experience anxiety, low mood, panic, trauma responses, or intense emotional reactions, such as anger or frustration. These experiences can significantly impact how safe and connected they feel within a setting.
Challenges around SEMH provision
As professionals working with children and young people, we know that supporting SEMH needs well requires time, resources, training and ongoing reflection. In many services and settings, competing pressures can make it difficult to review current approaches or implement meaningful change. Our staff teams may feel stretched, unsure where to begin or lack confidence in how best to respond to a diverse range of needs.
When provision is limited or inconsistent, children and young people can sometimes feel marginalised or misunderstood, reinforcing feelings of exclusion rather than belonging. This makes it even more important to focus on inclusive, relationship-centred approaches that support emotional safety.
Why a culture of belonging and inclusion matters
All children and young people deserve to feel that they belong, regardless of their needs or starting point in life. When environments are inclusive, predictable and relationally rich, children are more likely to feel secure enough to engage, learn and thrive.
Sometimes, without realising it, we can lower expectations or narrow opportunities for those with SEMH needs. Over time, this can reinforce exclusion and limit potential. A strong sense of belonging helps counter this, reminding children that they are valued members of their community, and are not defined by their difficulties.
Children and young people with SEMH needs can often feel marginalised, so intentional action to remove barriers, build relationships and create emotionally safe environments is key to ensuring they feel included and supported.
7 practical ways to foster belonging for children with SEMH needs
These practical, manageable suggestions provide a starting point for strengthening inclusion and emotional safety across services and settings.
1. Develop clear, shared plans and approaches
A shared ethos, underpinned by clear plans and policies, supports consistency and trust. When everyone understands how SEMH needs are recognised and supported, children experience more predictable and reliable care. Co-created approaches help ensure that values of inclusion and belonging are embedded across teams.
2. Invest in training to build consistency and confidence
Consistency plays a vital role in helping children feel safe. High-quality training and CPD for all staff, not just specialist roles, supports shared understanding and confidence. When adults respond in predictable, compassionate ways, children are more likely to feel understood and accepted.
3. Provide relational, ‘on the ground’ support
Strong relationships are central to belonging and emotional security and without adequate support, addressing SEMH needs can sometimes feel overwhelming. Having adults available who can build trusting relationships, notice early signs of distress and offer reassurance helps children feel seen and valued.
4. Adapt approaches to meet individual needs
Belonging grows when children feel that their individual needs are recognised and respected. Flexible approaches, such as offering additional time or regulation breaks, providing alternative ways to communicate, or enabling access to trusted adults, allow children to engage in ways that feel safe and achievable for them.
5. Create environments that feel safe and welcoming
Physical environments matter. Busy, overstimulating spaces can often increase anxiety and distress for some children and young people. Small adaptations, such as reducing noise, clutter or visual overload, can make a significant difference. Calm or quiet spaces, used appropriately, can offer children a safe place to re-regulate while remaining part of the community.
6. Support emotional understanding and expression
Developing emotional literacy helps children recognise, name, and understand their feelings. When children and young people can make sense of what they are experiencing, they are better able to seek support. Adults modelling emotional regulation also plays a crucial role in helping children feel safe and supported during difficult moments.
7. Build trusting relationships with children and families
Belonging is rooted in relationships. Taking time to understand children and young people as individuals, and working in partnership with families, supports more personalised and effective care. When children feel listened to and respected, they are more likely to feel that they truly belong.
Creating spaces of belonging
Clinical psychologist Dan Hughes reminds us that, “…every behaviour is a communication, and when that behaviour is from a child, it’s often communicating something about a state of distress.”
Children and young people experiencing SEMH needs rely on emotionally available adults to advocate for them, listen to them and create environments where they feel safe and accepted. By approaching SEMH through the lens of belonging, we move beyond managing behaviour and towards building connection, trust and emotional security.
